Monday, 25 July 2011

World of Women Drivers

I'm having so much fun discovering original poems composed by our clever BBGSians for the annual Choral Speaking Competitions! Here's another gem by Five Science Three, who took home the shield for the Senior Category in 1984. This poem is taken from the 1984 School Magazine.

Five Science Three Explores the World of Women Drivers

Women drivers can be found everywhere!


Up the curb!

In the ditch!

Up the tree!

In the lake! Tsk...tsk...

According to men,
Women drivers are atrocious!
Not so!
Inconsiderate and incompetent!
But, according to women,
Lady motorists are cautious, civic-minded and skilled!
"I mean, it's not easy driving up a tree, you know!"

After a minor mishap,
You can hear the famous last words of an enraged husband:
"How can you do such a thing! It's impossible!"
"You're just jealous because you can't do it!"
Informs his wife coolly
The car, sorry to say, is a total wreck,
Its wheels move in a crab-like motion,
And the vehicle is transformed
From a stately sedan
To a sports convertible...without the roof.

Ad we approach the age of seventeen,
Most of us crave for a driving license.
Driving instructors cringe,
When they see GIRLS at the driving office,
They cling desperately to the handbrakes when the lesson is in progress
---just in case.
Our monitor's first driving lesson.
"Let me guess, she drove into the drain!"
"Don't be so mean. I only hit the traffic lights. That's all!!"

Our wisdom bringers in BBGS
Comprise of a skilled lot.
See Miss Yeap gliding gracefully into the school compound,
Screeching to an abrupt halt
Missing the palm tree by centimetres. Phew.
We have the ideal woman driver, right here in BBGS.
Our very own Mrs Cheong,
Who swerves right, left, back and front,
Barely missing Mrs Thanen's pride and joy
Every single morning.
Hear the laughter upstairs in 5 Sc 3,
And the screams in 5 Sc 2,
Whenever Mrs Choe Ling
Laboriously manoeuvres her faithful Ford through the school gate.
Monday mornings can be hazardous to one's health.
For instance,
"Mrs Choe Ling, look out for that, BANG, CRASH, CHOKE........tree."

Adventurous women on race tracks,
Have caused sensations in newspapers.
Adventurous women on roads,
Have also been a source of headlines.
"Lack of trees in the city....fault of women drivers!"
Accident rates increse...women drivers on the prowl!"
Typical remarks of chauvinistic men.
These ignorant ones ind it astounding
How women change a tiny Volkswagen
Into a power-charged sports car!
If we drive slow
They sit seething with discontent, muttering imprecations, tinged with annoyance.

Yet, think of how uneventful
The world would be without us
Lovely, innocent, wonderful,
Charming, witty, enchanting,
And last but not least....modest women drivers,
Who add a little spice to your lives.
Looking gorgeous in an expensive Porsche.
A delightful sight for sore eyes,
Driving with awareness,
Every molecule in their body filled with confidence

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